I just remembered that the moon sand quote from BoR has yet to be explained
it’s been two years we need answers
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winger is definitely not you
he didn’t get impaled bruh did I really write it that badly
Here’s one.
El Cadáver Tonto.
I hate you
here’s your stupid lifetime comedy award grumble grumble
ymean the thing that made n01p go on a 2008 rampage about being the master of the moon sand and officially adding it to his bio even though he was dead in BoR
how many people’s bios have I influenced on the boards golly gosh goodness
well uh
what specifically needs an answer
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2008 rampage is the correct word for that
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you may have already said this and I didn’t pick it up but
- why he was in the factory
- why he was angry at cordax
- why cordax was so scared
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_
Chapter 6
_
“Wake the heck up, samurai. We have a ghid to crawl into.”
It was a cold, windy day in Florida. The city streets were filled with nothing but utter silence. Mr Thomas Morrow was sitting at an outdoors cafe table, slowly sipping coffee from a large cup. The drink was horrible: tasting nothing like the actual caffeine-filled brew, it was more akin to liquid, lukewarm mud, but mr Morrow was too preoccupied with dark thoughts to notice that. “You can never get rest as a Grandmaster of Cringe…” he thought. “This job is going to drive me crazy! If I don’t find a way out of this situation, I’ll have to-”
His pessimistic train of thought was rudely interrupted because a man nonchalantly took a seat in front of him. Mr Morrow immediately recognised the man as none other than mr Cordax. It wasn’t all that hard, considering that Cordax had an exceptionally bizarre appearance. His skin was of a sickly yellowish colour and he wore a black fedora, which didn’t go well at all with his purple hoodie, but his most distinctive feature was his height: Cordax was no taller than a child. Sitting down, his head was barely visible above the table. Mr Cordax tipped his ridiculous hat:
“Hi, Tomorrow!”
“It’s “mister Morrow”, Thomas growled with frustration. “Is it really so hard to remember!?”
“Sorry loser uh I mean boss.” the tiny man murmured reluctantly. “I’ve got bad news: the impostor… the impostor is sus. Mc’Gick will be here soon to take us out.”
“I knew it… the amogus is real indeed.” mr Morrow’s voice trembled as he let out a sign. A horrifying realisation came to him: the meme grew like a tumour, made its way into their brains like a parasitic worm, infected them like a disease with no cure… they were doomed, mr Mc’Gick sensed the cringe and was on his way to cause violence.
Seeing his boss on the brink of breaking down in tears, Cordax tried to break the awkward silence instead:
“Have you ever heard the tragic story of Melissa Burgerwoman? Julie told it to me what I was-”
“Hwat in the world does it have to do with-” But mr Morrow was interrupted as well, because all of a sudden No One appeared out of No Where and spoke thus words:
“morbius truly has to be one of the films released in 2022 so far. jared leto did a job playing morbius and the action was in the film . the film has storytelling and the cgi was animated. the side characters were along with morbius and the villain was a bad guy. the jokes were sentences. this film really is one of the films . of all time, if not the last decade.”
Even more suddenly a tall figure appeared. It opened its two eyes and then it opened its two extra right eyes right on the right of the right eye that had been opened a few moments prior. It was mr Mc’Gick himself, the Not-So-High Emperor. He grabbed Morrow and Cordax by their collars, but he didn’t grab No One because he was nobody and spoke:
“You just posted cringe on main. And ghids are cruel, jack.”
Mc’Gick’s jaw unhinged as he forced the two into the darkness…
“Memes. The DNA of the soul”
— Monsoon, Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance
_
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it’s theorizin’ time
oh no
cordax has become a redditor
find the sus within ourselves
no need for a cure
time to decode the secret message hidden in the bold characters!
truly one of the writers of all time.
GUYS ITS HIM HES REAL HE FINALLY SHOWED UP
“no one in particular”
I CANT BELIEVE IT :0000000000 
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No you foolish fool you goofy goober you got the message of the entire chapter completely wrong. Read it again
I can neither confirm nor deny allegations that yes
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Chap. X21:
“Hey, yo, I got some good stuff for you guys!”
Cordax was jabbering again. The top-hatted guy beside him hooked his neck with his staff, and dragged him over to the store counter.
“He’d like $897.33 worth of Schär gluten-free rolls,” he said, producing a large check. The guy behind the counter grunted, and dropped a large crate over the counter, flattening Cordax. Zork laughed, then choked. The man had drawn a pencil, and was erasing the wall slowly. As he did, the meaning of the words changed, until they resembled dggdtsdgdgdhchxfxxvxvkjxgzysjdhzfy.
“Huh?”
Zork said, as the crowd cheered and sang the national anthem of Volume. A red glow filled the sky as the cider factory detonated into a ball of plasma, which was immediately consumed by Sonus.
“I just want to thank everyone for their patience and support in this difficult situation,” Ghid said throughout the night. “We have been very grateful to everyone involved and we are looking for a new home for our son Winger in this city. If you have any suggestions, please contact us at 555-321-7890. I’m here to help in anyway I can!”
Mike Rophone laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more. It was stupid. It was meaningless. It was… perfect.
This is more utter foolishness that should not be taken seriously. Ignore it.
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No, anything but an other m reference!
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even the zork characters are being siphoned into the Bo_____ universe
incredible
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dang, when did I last post here. This stuffs getting harder to follow than trapped in the closet.
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Cordax what have we done!? They’re multiplying now
Is this communism at its finest or an implication that Ghid is married?
What kind of OC is that
Heyzorks’s?
Okay. 
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you weren’t around for the cringe rp years of ttv, but it’s essentially a knockoff of the character gamemaster, a grating show host who focuses on violent dismemberment as penalty on said show
it was a bad time
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All years of TTV are cringe
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How can I do the dunkin’ if there’s no writin’?
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ok it’s theorizin’ time
In BoR, N01 says this:
Tott was the one who sent monopoly and the others to the factory, I believe.
This is less concrete, but in BoD, Ghid says this:
Tott is pretty much the main character, so these quotes mean that N01=Tott. This also means that because Tott=Ghid, than according to the law of equivalency, N01=Ghid.
BOOM
BOOM
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Well, not exactly, as far as I understand. Ghid was the one who did that, but that Ghid in particular was also the one who happened to have a Tott body among others (Volume, the Dreamers and, presumably, the original body).
So, technically this was Tott, but not quite.
I very much enjoy this idea. If we merge it with one of my theories
We get this: N01=Ghid=cat
Quite a horrifying revelation, if you ask me
Omg Ghid do be typin… I wonder what he is writhing hmmmmmmmmm 
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–
Chapter 5
–
He remained motionless.
He, El Cadáver Tonto, barely-renowned wrestler extraordinaire, and professional charred skeletal corpse, was able to hold such a static pose that it seemed he was a statue, illuminated by the blinding flashes above him. The skeleton of this incredible figure should’ve been extremely hot to the touch, but Winger’s impulsive reaction to grab the decayed individual and drag him away from those bright flashes of light resulted in no charred fingers or melted skin.
“I reiterate my question from before.” Cordax grumbled as both he and Winger hid by the dumpster, the flashes of light overhead growing brighter. “What is going on?”
Two objects landed in the street, both glowing briefly before the glow faded. One of them stood up, its arm melted into a deformed curve, the elbow joint completely frozen. After a brief glance at the other, whose head had been melted into a point, the functional Dreamer ran and jumped up onto the roof of the building which the party hid under, his footsteps sounding through the building as he raced away.
“Would it hurt to second that?” Racie asked Cordax, still gripping her side. “I think the big glowing ball is fighting Dreamers now, which makes just about as much sense as anything else happening. Let me know when it ends and I get to wake up.” She turned and laid back down in the paper garbage.
Cordax frowned. “This would all be better if I just had my knife. I miss my knife. Where’s the comfort of stabbing something with just your fingers? Winger, this is called small talk, it’s to help me not think about how we’re all going to die horribly soon, please gimme something to work with here-”
“Hush.” Winger spoke, using the stone-like unmoving skin of the frozen skeleton’s shoulder to make scratches on a rather flat rock, which was then jammed into the side of the skeleton’s maw. “If my theory is correct, we’re going to have to be ready to move, and that little effort of dragging him over here threw my back even more.”
“So what, yo want me to carry her?” Cordax jabbed a thumb at Racie, who looked up from the edge of the dumpster with a glare. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m not exactly of a height best suited for things like manual lab-”
“GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!” The skeleton roared, green flames pouring out of his eyes as he sprang to his feet and ducked behind the dumpster, plunging the group into absolute silence. Cordax coughed slightly, breaking the stillness of the moment and prompting Winger to inquire “You uh… You okay dude?”
“WHY AM I NAKED?!!” The skeleton screamed.
“Because you got your flesh melted off in a split second, and I don’t think your clothes were immune either?” Winger replied, forcing himself back up to his feet. “Look, can we deal with that later? There’s a lot going on right now.”
“Well okay, but… What was happening before that?” El Cadáver Tonto inquired, his skeletal head peeking out from behind the dumpster in terror. “I don’t remember anything.”
“Uh…” Cordax scratched his head, trying to ascertain how to process everything that just happened. “So you were crying and weeping on your knees and begging for mercy-”
“After that.” The skeleton glared.
“Something about illegal upgrades, really it would help if you got over this, you’re a skeleton.” Winger said, motioning for Racie to get out of the dumpster which was met with another glare as she flopped back on the mound of paper.
“OH!” El Cadáver Tonto started, feeling his head over. “Oh. Right. Skeleton. So it doesn’t exist anymore. And I paid so much money for that metal, too… Well, for my own self-respect,” he pulled a trash bag out from under Racie’s head, dumping the paper contents and pressing his head into it until he made a hole, turning it into a trash poncho. “Better than nothing, right?”
Winger was giving the evil eye to Racie during the skittish skeleton’s misadventures, but even though his helmet still hid his features, Racie eventually relented with a groan and struggled out of the dumpster on her own. “Perfect. Dandy. You said you knew where to get us medical help?”
“Oh yes!” El Cadáver Tonto replied cheerily. “I’ve got somebody who can help you out, he’s down here.” Pushing the dumpster aside, the skeleton lifted a manhole cover and motioned for the party to descend. “We’re only down here because the lease on my apartment ran out. Really, I would greatly prefer to live above-ground, but the prices in this city are insane! And yet I’m spending every hard-earned paycheck on air fresheners to fight back the stale, boggy air down there. It’s a real challenge most of the time to eat in an environment like that, either nauseatingly moist or nauseatingly fresh. You get what I’m getting at?”
At this point, the entire party was underground, and the manhole cover was replaced in time for the brightest flash of all - so bright the manhole glowed briefly with the orange radiance of extreme heat. “Hey, this thing’s stuck!” The skeleton thumped the manhole angrily. “Man, this was the only exit that doesn’t run into the functional sewers! How are we gonna get out now?”
Winger looked briefly at Cordax, who was helping Racie down from the metal rungs of the ladder adhered to the side of the manhole entrance. He seemed to share the expression of worry the small indigo-garbed gremlin possessed.
“Somehow,” He replied, “I don’t think that’s our biggest problem.”
–
3 Likes
POST 500.
A=/=The
Ghid is, in fact, someone
Not as horrifying as you being almost on the money with your musings about Diero and the foolish/idiot/silly corpse:
So close, man…
I was gonna say no, but I’ve decided that yes this was a welsh cowboy
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