If you’re curious as to how this will all work, I’ll explain.
Every named character from tier 3 to 1 is given a number. These numbers are random, as I made the list as I remembered the characters. Making for 20 fighters in total.
I use a random number generator to select two characters. Making sure at least one player character is in each fight. Once any character loses a fight, they are eliminated, and will not participate in any more rounds from then on.
Yes! Finally a chance for a fight!
I’ve been waiting for a chance for Juliana to use her femenine wiles for a while.
It’s about dang time!
So I take it I pulled it off well?
What happened was exactly what I expected to happen when this whole misunderstanding mess started.
I know it was predictable. But I want to know if the actual execution was well done.
You inverted what I meant.
The execution was great, but the timing felt off.
Did I take too long?
Yes. The reason I had Juliana promt him to go talk to her because in a typical romance plot or sub-plot, that’s when this whole scenario would go down, not as long as it ended up taking. Especially with a little closure as the was.
I kinda did that intentionally. Its a big moment for these characters, so I didn’t want to make it seem rushed. Which is why I didn’t want it to resolve the same day that it happened.
Understandable, but it didn’t feel natural, especially with the lack of response it felt like Axis gave him.
If this story was focused on the romance, you might be able to get away with it, but it’s not so it feels… off.
Apologies. Romance has never been my specialty in writing, but I tried my best.
Regardless, this subplot has finally reached it’s conclusion, and we can move on.
Yep.
Also, for some reason I feel like this should be their relationship song.
A beutiful song.
Not really my kind of thing, but I think it works.
Wait… you don’t like country…?
I’m sorry, I can no longer associate with you. /s
Funny story, in an earlier version of the story, this they would have hooked up quite a while before now.
The idea was that Maximus would have fallen for Axis first, (kinda like he did here, only he actually knew it). But he doesn’t know how to tell her. So he goes to Lockjaw. His captain, life mentor, and all-around father figure.
Of course being a pirate and all, he doesn’t know the first thing about actual romance. So he decided the best idea is to get the whole crew involved, and try to serenade her with a big over the top performance of Hooked on A Feeling.
Maximus being the wide eyed young lad he is was like “yeah this sounds perfect!”
Needless to say it was just crazy enough to work in a cute and ironic sort of way. Axis seeing all of it as really endearing. He has no idea what he’s doing, but he’s trying his best, and its cute.
If I’m honest, I like that better.
Who knows. Maybe that’s what I’ll go with when I actually write out the series in a traditional story sense like I’ve been meaning to for a long while now.
Honestly the Star Talons are a lot of fun when left to their own devices, and I cannot wait to get them involved later on.
They’re essentially a great big family of 50 or so, and only three of them are capable of any rational decision making. When they aren’t doing crime their either having fun or struggling to survive each other. And then they tried to raise a fricken child. Its a miracle Maximus turned out as stable as he did.
Yeah, I’m pretty much with ProfSrlojohn on this. Sure it’s cliche, but went too slow. I don’t have a problem with the major beats (incident, rejection, resolution), but the in-between conversations didn’t help too much.
To specify, I thought Axis’s initial rejection when Maximus tried to approach again was fine, just that the two characters had too many conversations in-between. Especially Maximus, who talked to a lot of people with little difference in advice. Now granted, there certainly needed to be some filler as just going from starting incident to rejection to rage fight to resolution would feel very weird (unless with Prof route’s and cut out the two middle sections) without it.
Though ultimately I think it being in RP is the major problem for pacing. Not because of the other player characters (not to say it didn’t contribute in pacing problems), but the IRL days that passed between each scene. When read just straight through, it’s not that terrible, but drip feed by the days, weeks, it took to get here because of RP time it feels a lot longer.
For another example, the All-Spark mission with my Minicons may seem like it just dropped off the face of the earth. And if you forgot about it, don’t worry, it has been weeks since last mentioned. However, in the story as a whole and in the IC timeline, it has taken a minor breather. You might not even have noticed if it wasn’t for the lull of time that is how forum RPs run.
I’m really excited to finally play Oddball in combat.
I personally like to think that Iota secretly streams in the music Ivory plays and the songs Juliana sings into their quarters, working with the four on dance numbers. 