No Johnny, it’s Rated R.
Mommy, some clown is going killed me with a crowbar?
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Yes you little snot because the readers said to kill you.
Why is Robbie Rotten so amazing?
Well Little Johnny, he is not that amazing.
Do you liked to meet my sister, Susie?
No and you feel bad.
What is South Park?
Well Little Johnny it’s a cartoon made for adults, so you can’t watched it.
Want be my best friend?
Oh great. More unfunny grammar.
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Well little Johnny, people don’t like people who can’t speak proper sentences. That’s why you have to go to school.
Why do people think Little Johnny is special?
Well Little Johnny, you shouldn’t lie to yourself. You aren’t special. You’re just some random four year old who could become the scientist that finds a cure for cancer but will probably end up working two part-time fast-food jobs.
Why is there a light at the end of the tunnel?
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Cause you are dying. Get over it.
Why is there a tunnel at the end of the light?
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Well little Johnny, you see light doesn’t act like a tunnel, it acts like a wave and a particle…
(3 hours of science-y stuffs later)
Why can’t trees walk?
Because-uh-watch lord of the rings to find out.
Why are furries weird?
Well little johnny, its because the human race is crazy and… (several hours later of mad rambling that could only been done on the TTV podcast later!) and thats why we need to destroy humanity!
Why are so many people wasting their time here?
Well little Johnny, we need something to fill up our empty existence.
What is LEGO?
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A weapon meant to drain you out of your money.
That girl over there winked at me. What did she mean by it?
Well little Johnny, she was actually winking at that much hotter guy next to you.
Why can’t I see UV rays?
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Well, little Johnny, it’s because your eyes are lame human eyes, and as such cannot see things that actually awesome animals like mantis shrimps can see.
Why can’t we discuss religion?
Well Little Johnny, God ask us not talk about.
Riddle me this, mother?
Okay, I’ll give the response.
Well, Little Johnny, we can’t talk about religion, because freedom of speech doesn’t exist on Earth anymore.
Why do I have bad luck? 
Well Little Johnny, that’s because you haven’t hailed our dark overlord, so he is sending little creatures to ruin your life little by little.
Why no can has chezburgr?
Johnny I don’t care how many times you ask, you’re not allowed to become one of these “memes”!
What is the meaning of bacon?
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