Rising Star (Story Serial Continuation Project)

As most everyone knows, the Bionicle story serials ended on multiple cliffhangers, as Greg was not able to continue them. I don’t know of any fan project that has actually set out to finish the serials. So that is what I aim to do. Not just finish the stories – I aim to finish them as I feel Greg would’ve. So that means taking into account things Greg said he might have done, including building up to an eventual Great Being Civil War.

This one was the hardest to write so far, and has taken me the longest. This is actually my second attempt at continuing the Red Star story; the first I wrote years before this project. It can be read here, if you’re interested. It built up a few story ideas that I’ve long since scrapped, and didn’t really delve into many aspects of the Star that were begging to be explored.

Previous stories in this project:

(Fun fact: I was going to name this story ‘Star of Death’ like the original, until I realized all my stories so far have been “__ of __”)


Chapter 1

Where is he?

The Ga-Matoran carefully peeked around the corner, gazing into the dimly-lit hallway. She wished she had the advanced night vision of the Onu-Matoran. Her eyes strained to make out features in the dark, but she couldn’t find the being she sought.

Darn it, where’d he go?

A creaking noise from behind her reminded her that she couldn’t wait here forever. She needed to make a move. Taking a deep breath, she dashed toward the hallway on the other side of the intersection.

A loud clank made her jump, nearly stumbling, almost losing her balance. Her heart pounding, she pushed herself even faster, dashing into the passageway.

There was a door here, and she quickly tried the handle. Locked. Of course it was. She could pick it, but it would take her a moment; she needed to find out what had made that noise first. Mustering up her courage, she peeked back around the corner.

She quickly located the source of the noise that had frightened her: a piece of the ceiling had fallen, now lying in the floor. There was no sign of the creature that had been stalking her. Maybe it was gone.

Then she heard a slight breathing sound, and glanced up… just as a twisted, mangled green figure dropped on her from the ceiling.

Darn it. Why hadn’t she thought to look up?

She jumped back, narrowly avoiding the creature as it pounced. Well, it certainly knew where she was; no use hiding now. She pulled out her electro-blade.

As the creature lunged, she thrust out the blade. Electricity leapt from the blade, striking the creature as it got close, and it screeched and pulled back. The Ga-Matoran took a few steps back, searching for a way to get away from the creature.

The creature lunged again, and she held the blade to hold it back, retreating a few steps further back. There! Another passage, this one with an open door. If she could get there, she could shut the door and keep the creature at bay… at least long enough to escape.

Taking advantage of her momentary distraction, the creature lunged again. This time, when she thrust her blade out, the creature suddenly lunged to the side, slipping past her blade’s defense, and lashed out with a blade of its own, scratching her hand. She yelped, dropping her weapon.

The creature came in to attack, and she just barely managed to duck under its swing. She leapt toward her blade, but the creature slammed into her, knocking her to the floor. Before she could get up, it leapt toward her.

Then, suddenly, another blast of lightning struck the creature. It gave a loud screech, and then fell to the floor, stunned.

The Ga-Matoran turned to look, and saw the source of the attack: a weapon, like the ones usually wielded by the Kestora. But it wasn’t a Kestora that held it, it was–

Water, sinking, drowning… she gasped for air, tried to push to the surface, but her normally excellent swimming skills failed her, as if something was resisting her… through the water, she saw a figure on the surface… a familiar figure, with a hand outstretched… but not to save her…

“Man, this thing packs quite a punch,” the orange-armored Toa who’d rescued her said, lowering the Kestora weapon. “You sure you don’t want one, brother?”

“I like my own tools, thank you.” This from another Toa, his white armor marking him as a Toa of ice, standing behind the one who’d blasted the creature. At his side was a familiar Onu-Matoran…


A few minutes earlier…

“My name is Mavrah.”

Pohatu’s eyes widened with recognition. “Mavrah?” he repeated. “As in, friend of Whenua and Onepu, former Archivist, leader of sea Rahi, Mavrah?”

The Onu-Matoran nodded. “Yep, that’s me,” he said.

“But… I thought you died,” Pohatu said.

“I did,” Mavrah replied. “So, I guess you know my story, then. Your turn. Who are you, and how did you die?”

The two Toa were taken aback by the question. “We haven’t died,” Kopaka said.

“And we intend to keep it that way,” Pohatu added quickly.

“In denial, huh?” Mavrah said. “Or haven’t figured out that you died yet?”

“All right, I’ve had enough of this,” Kopaka said. “I’ve had enough of vague and confusing. Tell it to me straight: what is this place, and why are you here?”

“You really haven’t figured it out?” Mavrah said. “This is where you go when you die. They patch you up, and send you back. Least, that’s how it’s supposed to work. Something went wrong, and they can’t send anyone back anymore; now everyone’s stuck here. Guess that’s you now, too.”

“Who’s ‘they’?” Pohatu asked.

“The Kestora,” Mavrah explained. “They run this place. They’re supposed to fix people. Instead, all they’ve been doing is tearing them apart, trying to figure out what’s ‘wrong’ with them.”

That fit with the twisted beings Kopaka had seen. “That… makes a disturbing amount of sense,” the Toa of Ice said.

“So… does that mean everyone who died is here?” Pohatu asked.

“Don’t get your hopes up, brother,” Kopaka said. “You haven’t seen the way they are now.”

“All right, my turn,” Mavrah said. “How did you die, and how did you escape from the Kestora? They usually don’t let Toa run loose.”

“We haven’t died,” Kopaka repeated. “We were brought here by a teleporter named Gaardus, said he’d been here before.”

“Huh,” Mavrah said. “Usually, no one ever wants to come back here. Well, if you really weren’t revived here, maybe you can help us. I’ve got a couple of friends that have a plan, and we could use your help.”

“Well, you know the territory,” Pohatu said. “Lead the way.”


“Are you all right?” Pohatu asked. The Ga-Matoran simply grunted, retrieving her blade.

“Quilha!” Mavrah snapped. “This Toa just saved you; you could at least say thank you.”

“I could’ve handled the Dunohko myself,” Quilha replied. “Where’d you find a Toa, anyway? I thought the Kestora had all of them. Well, except for that one Sound Toa…”

“Apparently, they came here a different way,” Mavrah replied. “Toa Nuva Kopaka and Pohatu, here to save us.”

“Right,” Quilha said. “Because as we all know, Toa live to save people.”

Mavrah sighed. “Quilha, stop it. They really do want to help.”

“Well, they can start by ‘helping’ us get back to the ghost,” Quilha said. “Maybe he’ll have something for these Toa to help with. And I have things to report.” She started walking down the hallway, not looking back to see if the rest were following.

Pohatu glanced at Mavrah. “What’s with her?” he asked.

Mavrah gazed at the Toa of Stone, a forlorn look in his eyes. “I can’t tell you,” he said. “I promised I wouldn’t.”


Author’s note: everyone already knows how the Red Star works, so there’s little point keeping it secret. There are some things Mavrah wouldn’t know, but he’s got an idea of what this place is, and there’s no reason why he wouldn’t tell the Toa.
~W12~
8 Likes

Good to see those again.

Oh no. Now imagine the Red Star looking like the Death Star. :no_mouth:

Chapter is, as always, awesome. So many questions…

I’ve been looking forwards to this for a while now, glad to see it finally getting started! Quilha is quite the interesting one; I’m pretty sure I know her deal, and I hope she sticks around for a while to see that explored to its fullest.

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Quilha is one of my favorite parts of this story, so I hope you like what I’ve done with the character too.


Chapter 2

Six weeks before the arrival of Kopaka and Pohatu…

Botar should have been dead.

The last thing he remembered was unbearable pain, being crushed by his own armor. Then he was in another place, surrounded by strange, unfamiliar beings who were doing something to him; he couldn’t tell what, but he knew it hurt. And then, all of a sudden, he was here, in the dark, unable to see anything. And still in pain.

The pain meant that, somehow, he was still alive. It didn’t make any sense – nothing did – but there was one thing he was sure of: he wasn’t going to die without a fight.

A fight… he had been in a fight when he died. Who was he fighting, and why? He tried to think, but it wasn’t easy to focus. He had been on some sort of mission, something about delivering weapons or something, and then they got attacked. They? Yes, there was definitely someone else there. Had the other person died?

He couldn’t remember much else before that; whenever he tried to think about it, his head hurt. One more part of him that hurt.

Very well; if he couldn’t figure out the past, he would focus on the present. Starting with where he was. He opened his eyes once again, and still saw only darkness. But he could feel… unbearable pain… but also, a cold metal floor under his back. He tried to move, but grunted in pain as the movement tortured his damaged body.

He lay still for a long time. Okay, so moving hurt. Darn it, moving hurt, thinking hurt, lying here hurt, everything hurt. He wasn’t going to make it stop it hurting by just lying here. He might as well just push through it.

Pain fought against him as he sat up, but this time, he wasn’t going to let it win. He pushed it to the back of his mind, like his memories, and it was tolerable. He was going to survive, whatever it took. Getting to his feet, he began to hobble through the dark. He had no idea where he was going, but he would find a way.

He had to find a way to survive.


Now…

Left behind by the two Toa Nuva, three Kestora stood, still as statues. Having been blasted by Kopaka’s power, they were coated from head to toe in ice. Kopaka had predicted that they would thaw out, eventually. Of course, that didn’t take into account someone else finding them first.

A sharp humming noise filled the air, growing louder by the second, until the ice began to crack, and then finally shattered, the three Kestora bursting free.

As the three brushed ice chunks off of themselves, a fourth Kestora approached. “What are you doing?” he asked. “Where are your weapons?”

“They were taken by a pair of Toa,” one of the freed Kestora said. “They don’t belong. They need to be contained.”

“They went toward the fallen region,” another pointed out. “They are lost. Dead, if they’re lucky.”

“They’re Toa,” the third said. “We can’t assume they will fall so easily. And they seemed way too interested in this place.”

The Kestora’s rescuer grimaced. “We have enough problems here as it is. The last thing we need is rogue elements trying to cause trouble. We need to tell Makuta about them.”

The three formerly frozen Kestora nodded, and all of them began to walk down the hallway, deeper into the core of the Red Star…


Slowly, the Fe-Matoran Nynrah crafter looked over Pohatu, up and down, seeming to analyze every part of him. Then he did the same with Kopaka. Finally, he nodded, apparently satisfied.

“They seem intact enough,” he said. “They’ll do. Name’s Ruhko. You say a teleporter brought you here?”

“That’s their story, at least,” Mavrah said. “They say that they were investigating the Red Star, and then someone named Gaardus said he could take them to it; apparently he’s been here before, back when people could leave. So he brought them here, and then disappeared.”

The Nynrah Ghost grimaced. “So what you’re saying is, the teleporter’s long gone,” he said.

“Most likely,” Mavrah said.

“Shame,” Ruhko said. “But it’s to be expected. No one wants to stick around here. Well, if they’re telling the truth, at least the Kestora don’t know they’re here.”

Now it was Kopaka’s turn to grimace. “They know,” the Toa of Ice said. “I flash-froze a few of them earlier.”

“Wait, you killed them?” Quilha said.

“No,” Kopaka said. “I froze them. They’ll thaw out, eventually.”

“And then they’ll tell the other Kestora you’re here,” Quilha said. “Wonderful. We finally get Toa here who can help us, and the first thing they do is draw the attention of our enemies.”

“Not if we get to them first,” Pohatu said. “We could run back, bring them here, and maybe lock them up somewhere where they can’t tell anyone we’re–”

“It’s too late,” Kopaka said. “They’re already free.”

“Wait, how do you know?” Mavrah said. “Did you feel your ice shatter or something?”

“I’m guessing he has a mask of X-ray Vision,” Ruhko said, and Kopaka nodded. “Doesn’t look like quite like a typical Akaku; must be a custom design.”

“What about you, orangey?” Quilha asked. “What can you do?”

“Probably looks different because these are Nuva Masks,” Pohatu said. “They have greater power. I’ve got the mask of Speed, so I can run around stuff, but I can also run through stuff. Plus, we can–”

“Well, speed could certainly prove useful,” Quilha interrupted. “Could help us with our plan.”

“Now wait just a second,” Kopaka said. “Care to fill us in on what it is you’re planning?”

“Less of a plan and more an idea,” the Fe-Matoran explained. “See, the Kestora clearly can’t fix whatever’s keeping us all stuck here. So now I’d like to have a crack at it. I’ve never met a machine I can’t fix. But the Kestora are determined that they’re ‘supposed to be’ in charge. They’re not just gonna let me walk in and fix their mess, not without a fight.”

Ruhko hefted one of the Kestora’s blasters. “So I intend to give them one.”


Author’s notes: before anyone says it, I’m aware Makuta can’t be revived on the Red Star. That’s not exactly what’s going on here, but I don’t want to give away too much yet.
Botar was one of the biggest questions I had to answer with this story: why is a guy who can teleport stuck here? Why hasn’t he helped anyone else escape? The answer is that his mind is messed up and he doesn’t remember he can teleport. Well, Greg did say that the trauma of dying might mess with people’s heads.
7 Likes

You know, waking up and having a super cool and new bionicle story to read isn’t bad at all, more exciting then what I’m gonna do for the next five hours and this one seems particularly interesting.

Chapter 3

One thousand years before the arrival of Kopaka and Pohatu

The cieling falling… water rushing in from the outside… prisoners scrambling to escape… the Great Cataclysm led to chaos everywhere, but few location were as disastrous as the Pit, the Matoran Universe’s greatest prison.

Hydraxon, the designated guardian of the Pit, was struggling to keep the prisoners contained, but for the first time in his life, he found himself fighting a losing battle. It would have been hard enough to stop all the prisoners scrambling to get out without everything going insane all around.

He hurled one of his daggers, striking the shoulder of one of the prisoners and pinning them to the wall. The prisoner, a brute named Nocturn, ripped the blade free and tossed it aside, then leapt forward and hit Hydraxon with a powerful punch to the chest.

Before he could recover, a falling chunk of rock slammed into the side of his head. Stunned, he dropped his other dagger, and it disappeared into the encroaching waters. Disoriented, Hydraxon was vulnerable to another blow, this one from one of the Barraki warlords, Carapar.

Then, something slammed into his back, a chunk of rubble, pinning his left leg to the floor and crushing it. He grunted in pain, forcing himself to his knee, and focused on the escapees, flinging a boomerang at one in an attempt to stop him.

“Hello there.”

Hydraxon turned around just in time to see the Barraki Takadox standing behind him, holding the dagger he’d launched at Nocturn. Grinning, Takadox swung it toward Hydraxon’s face…


one year before the arrival of Kopaka and Pohatu…

He wasn’t dead.

He didn’t remember who he was, or where he had come from before being stuck in this facility of death. Parts of him were damaged, and those little beings that ran this place – the Kestora – had tried to rip him apart, claiming that they needed to know what was “wrong” with him.

Hydraxon might not have remembered anything else about himself, but he learned one thing that day: he was a fighter. He’d fought past the Kestora, escaping into the rest of this facility. Since then, he’d fought other beings in the dark, some more broken than he was, and he’d survived every encounter despite the damage done to his body.

He’d travelled for so long, searching for a way out, but there was none. He finally had to conclude that there was only one option. He had to go back to the Kestora. They had to know how to leave this place. He would make them share the information, by force if he had to.

It was time to leave.


Now…

“Is that… a map of the Star?”

Pohatu and Kopaka were staring at the layout Ruhko had brought them to. It consisted of a series of maps of hallways and rooms. If stacked together, they would form a rough layout of a 3-dimensional structure.

“As close as we can get to it,” Ruhko said. “Our runner, Quilha, has mapped out any regions she can get to. Some areas are too dangerous, or we can’t get into.”

Ruhko indicated a point in one of the middle maps. “This is where we are,” he said. “Near as we can tell, this was an area for reviving those with minor damages, where their death was caused by something internal, like drowning or suffocation.”

Ruhko pointed to a nearby point on the map. “This, though, is the ward for those with severe mental damage. When the Kestora weren’t able to send people away, this region got overrun. And it’s just getting worse, as more people get stuck here.”

Ruhko walked over to another map, this one far to the right – what would be the “bottom” of the star. This map was mostly blank, with only parts of the edges filled out. “Near as we can figure, the send-back tech is somewhere in this area. Based upon where the Kestora bring people that they’re trying to send back.”

“At least, the ones they’re supposed to be trying to send back,” Quilha cut in.

From the other side of the room, Mavrah sighed. “Quilha, not now…”

“No, these Toa need to know what they’re getting into,” Quilha said. “I’ve been thinking for a while now: what if the send-back isn’t broken? What if the Kestora are only acting like it’s broken, and keeping everyone here for some darker purpose?”

“What darker purpose?” Mavrah said.

Quilha shrugged. “I don’t know,” she conceded. “But I think it’s worth considering.”

“As I was saying,” Ruhko went on, clearly annoyed at the interruption. “This section has the strongest defenses of any place in this facility. Not sure why, but we suspect there’s something more there than just the send-back. Something to do with the large chunk of machinery at the bottom.”

Could that be the engines? Kopaka thought, remembering the Red Star’s other purpose, helping the Great Spirit Robot travel from planet to planet. It would make sense for the engines to be near the “bottom”. Perhaps the Kestora also had access to it, in order to maintain it.

Suddenly, Kopaka had a thought. What if there was a way to activate the engines manually? If they couldn’t fix the send-back, at least they could bring the star down to the surface, allowing everyone to leave. Assuming they could do that without crashing it, at least; the Star was meant to orbit a planet, not land upon its surface. Kopaka filed it away as a potential back-up plan.

“Hey, Toa, are you paying attention?” Quilha’s sharp voice cut through his thoughts. “We’re discussing important stuff here. This could be life or death, not just for us, but everyone else here. No time to be–”

“I can heeeeear you.”

The voice echoed through the room, as if the speaker was standing right where the maps were. Instantly, everyone fell silent. Pohatu and Kopaka scanned the room, but there was no sign of any intruders, no one but the two Toa and the three Matoran.

“What was–” Pohatu started to ask, but Mavrah abruptly clamped a hand over the Toa’s mouth, placing a finger to his own lips. Meeting his eyes, the Onu-Matoran silently mouthed two words.

Sound Toa.


Author’s notes: Hydraxon’s death is pretty brutal, if you think about it, considering the Barraki found his face lying in the mud, without the rest of him. He’s in pretty bad shape, but someone like him won’t go down so easy.
4 Likes

Scene of Hydraxon’s death is recreated really precisely according to BS01, and this is very cool, but… I think his helm just casually fell of his head, and wasn’t, emm, ripped off. Child-friendly stories and stuff, you know. It wasn’t said directly so this is just my observation, not really a big problem.
What damage is dealt to Hydraxon and Botar? Are those the same wounds that caused them die, or are those the results of Kestora’s “taking apart”?
And one more: why isn’t Mavrah mad? Or I haven’t noticed?
Waiting for the Creepy Toa of Sound. :slightly_smiling_face:

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That’s what I thought too, and what I initially wrote, but then I asked the boards to be sure, and apparently Greg has said it’s actually his face.

Of course, it wasn’t explicitly stated in the story as such, and won’t really be detailed here, but it is a disturbing visual.

Botar, it’s just the wounds that caused him to die. He sorta instinctively teleported away when he was being fixed, so he’s still pretty messed up.
With Hydraxon… well, the Kestora certainly attempted to take him apart, and he fought his way free. I hadn’t given any thought to how far they got, but he’s still got a lot of the damage that killed him, too.

I’m not sure what you mean? Like, mad as in upset at the Toa (is there a reason he should be that I just don’t remember?) or mad as in mentally damaged? He wasn’t as badly traumatized by his death; some are worse than others, and some people more affected then others.

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Ah, I see. Well, I think that the problem here is that face and helm are mostly the same thing in Bionicle: metal something that covers your head/skull.

Directly from BS01:
“Mavrah is an eager scientist, but sometimes so eager that he does not consider his own safety or well-being. His obsession with the underwater Rahi study was so great that he was willing to give up his life in Metru Nui and exiled himself along with them. While living in the Great Barrier, he had a that could sense the use of Kanohi powers.”

Mavrah was paranoic and really obssesed with Rahi, and in overall questionable mental condition. That what I meant under “mad”. Though after 100 years on the Red Star he might’ve become a little more social, of course.

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General Takadox.

Do the Red Star teleported the body or only the soul of the death ones? In Hydraxon’s Tale we see Hydraxon face laying in Mahri Nui after a millenial. But if it only teleported the soul, why would wounds stay with the death ones?

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I’m curious about this, too. I always thought of their souls being sent but then are put into some sort of semi-physical state.

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The Red Star gathers the body. Or at least the part of the body with the mind in it.

Then, if the body can be repaired, it is. If it can’t be repaired, a new one is built, and the mind is transferred.

(In theory, at least. We all know the Kestora kind of came up short on that last part.)

https://greg.thegreatarchives.com/2013-2017/page374#post10650107

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Thank you for the quote; I remembered reading that the bodies were teleported, but couldn’t find a source for that.

That said, it doesn’t say that some are repaired and others are transferred. Do you have any source on that? I don’t mean to doubt you, of course, just want to be sure.

If not, I can say that Botar and Hydraxon were attempted dissections, and that’s why they’re so messed up. Might have to keep an eye out and see if anything else needs to be edited.

I think there is a distinction, since certain characters are mentioned to have an actual helmet, like Johmak, and Hydraxon can wear Kanohi.

Interesting point. I’d say he’s joined with Ruhko’s little group for survival. He’s not the most sociable of the group, though; he mainly only interacts with Quilha.


Chapter 4

Six months before the arrival of Kopaka and Pohatu…

Delara, Toa of Sonics, was screaming.

He’d had the great misfortune of running into a pair of Dark Hunters, the Skakdi Hakann and Avak. He’d tried to stop them from taking a rare decorative mask, not realizing that they vastly overpowered him.

First, Hakann had struck, a blast from his lava launcher shattering Delara’s mask and blinding him. By instinct, he lashed out with his powers, but Hakann retaliated with his mental blasts, ripping into Delara’s mind.

Then, Avak struck, with his power to make a cage designed specifically for his enemies. The cage amplified any noise to intolerable levels on the inside, devastating for anyone with the level of increased hearing that a Toa of Sound had. Hakann’s continued mental blasts kept him too distracted to use his powers to deaden the sound.

He was still screaming when he died.


Now…

Quilha stood still, frozen in fear.

She’d heard that voice once before, while out running the halls, with her running partner. His voice came from multiple directions, impossible to tell where he was. But he was able to tell where they were.

She didn’t know what had happened to him, but he was more messed up than the worst she’d seen on the star. He caught them at an intersection, and dragged her partner off into the dark, never to be seen again. She’d frozen, standing completely still, as he came back, looking for her. He’d walked past her, so close she was sure he should’ve heard her heartbeat, but he hadn’t seen her. She was still standing for hours after he left; she’d nearly died of fright when Mavrah had called her name, when he came looking for her.

Now, hearing his voice again brought back that came fear. Every sound seemed to be magnified times a thousand. For him, she knew, it was. Could he hear her breathing? Could he hear the noise of the lights, flickering softly? Could he hear her heart beating?

He had to know where they were, or at least have an idea. He’d projected his voice into this room. It was only a matter of time before he found them. There was no way to tell how far away he was. He could be right outside, or several Bio away.

What were the Toa doing? Were they about to do something stupid, and draw him right to them? Slowly, afraid to move to fast, she glanced up at the two Toa.

The Ice Toa was panning his head side to side, as if looking for something. That’s right, Ruhko had said he had a mask of X-Ray vision. Then, slowly, he pointed. He’d located the sound Toa.

Ruhko pointed to a point on one of the maps, and pointed to the Stone Toa’s mask. Pohatu pointed to his weapons, gut Ruhko emphatically shook his head. Wait – what were they planning? Couldn’t they just wait until the Sound Toa moved on? Toa always had to act, to be ‘heroic’.

Pohatu gestured for the Matoran to come close. Ruhko and Mavrah moved to the two Toa, and all four joined hands. But Quilha couldn’t move, still frozen to the spot.

For a few long seconds, the others stared at her expectantly. Then, Mavrah pulled his hand loose from Pohatu’s, and pointed toward the door, looking at the surprised Toa. His message seemed clear: ‘go without us’.

Quilha shook her head. No. She wasn’t going to let the Toa run off toward danger, while she stood here with Mavrah. She stepped forward and grabbed Mavrah’s hand with one hand, Pohatu’s hand with the other.

Suddenly, she felt the power of speed flow through her. The Toa started to run. Caught off guard, she stumbled at first, but Pohatu’s grip kept her on course. She was surprised to be matching their pace; having never seen a Toa Nuva, she hadn’t known that they could share their mask powers with others. For just a moment, the speed was exhilarating, and she forgot her fear.

But then, as they sped through the darkened hallway, they passed the Sound Toa, and she caught a glimpse of him. Eerily, he seemed to be looking right at them, even though there was no way he would have been able to see them even if they weren’t moving at super-speed.

Because behind his mask, he had no eyes.


Across the Star, another being watched the Toa blip from one place to another.

Interesting. So these were not normal Toa. Normal Toa were enough of a problem; these Toa seemed to be even more problematic than normal. Even more prudent that they be contained.

Delara, too, was a problem, had been for a long time. He was too messed up to aid the Kestora, but he kept killing the other people on the Star, and always managed to head the Kestora coming when they tried to capture him. It seemed that the Kestora would have to take action directly, if order was to be maintained.

Yes, the two Toa would be brought down. And then… they would help Makuta maintain order on the Red Star.


The speed had brought the group far from the sound Toa, to another section of the Star, before they finally stopped. There was a door to their right, and the hallway continued onward, but Pohatu needed to talk to Ruhko first.

“So, where exactly are we going?” Pohatu said. “Kopaka and I could have handled one mad Toa.”

“And drawn the Kestora to you in the process,” Ruhko said.

“We could’ve dealt with the Kestora, too,” Pohatu said.

“Yeah, sure,” Quilha said. “That’s what the last Toa that we met said. The Kestora took them all, took every Toa except Soundy back there; not sure why he’s still loose. No, if we’re going to get to the Kestora’s machinery, we need some way of hiding you from the Kestora. I know where we can–”

“There’s a Matoran on the other side of the door,” Kopaka said abruptly. “And he looks wounded.”

Pohatu tried the door, but it didn’t open. “All right, stand back, I’m gonna–”

“There’s a mechanism to unlock it, but it’s on the other side,” Kopaka said.

“Oh,” Pohatu said. “In that case, I’ve got this.”

“I can–” Quilha started to say, but Pohatu disappeared before she could finish. A moment later, he reappeared, lying on the floor on his back. “Ow.”

Kopaka helped him to his feet. “What happened?”

“I’ve… never seen anything like that before,” Pohatu said. “It’s like… as I tried to vibrate through the door, the material changed its own vibrations to stop me. It kicked me out. Hurt, too.”

Quilha didn’t understand what the Toa of Stone was talking about, but she didn’t really care. Pulling out a set of small tools and wires, she began to try and open the lock.

“Where’d you learn that?” Pohatu asked.

“One of the other Ghosts taught me,” she said. “Before he…” she couldn’t bear to finish the sentence, but she still remembered seeing him being dragged off into the dark…

Kopaka frowned. “Wait, I think I recognize the Matoran. He looks…” Kopaka hesitated. “He looks like Turaga Nuju’s description of his mentor, Ihu.”


Author’s notes: Yeah, the walls of this place can block Pohatu. I’m not sure if this makes sense scientifically, but it’s a fun idea, and lets me do some interesting stuff later on.
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“Matoro and the Makuta did not come back, for a simple reason. None of them have bodies anymore. The body is what is teleported up (which is why you don’t see BIONICLE graveyards) and then either repaired or a new one is made to house the consciousness. If the body has been utterly destroyed, there is nothing to work with.”

I love this story, by the way. I usually try to avoid reading fanfaction so as not to get attached to a “non-canon” story, but this one sucked me in. You’ve done a great job of mimicking the original writing and dialogue style. And I like that the “fan addons” are kept to a minimum; it’s mostly based directly on actual canon events and characters.

2 Likes

[Facepalms] I LOOKED at that page, but that was the one drop-down I didn’t click on because I mistakenly thought it was about the lightning that made the Toa Inika.

Thanks for the references, I appreciate the help!

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Here’s another one:

I don’t think Delara’s time of death fits with the canon timeline. According to Ignition Comic 1, Hakann and Avak met a Toa of Sonics on their “last mission”. Even if we assume that this mission took place directly before they defected from the Dark Hunters to go to Mangaia, that still means it took place around 1 month before the Piraka began their descent down the 777 Steps, as detailed in Legends 4: Legacy of Evil.

Then, an unspecified amount of time passes before Teridax takes over the Matoran Universe. Next, Journey’s End tells us that he was in this body for “months”. Then, of course, Teridax is defeated.

From there, I am having trouble finding a consistent timeline: some sources indicate that Kopaka and Pohatu found themselves on the Red Star within days of Teridax’s defeat, while others suggest it was a month.

By the time we add everything up:

(1 month between Delara’s murder and the Piraka on the 777 Steps) +
(Some amount of time [probably weeks] during which the 2007 and 2008 stories happen) +
(At least 2 months of Teridax’s Reign)

It comes to at least 3 months, but probably closer to 6 or 7.

Additionally, Delara’s death would have taken place quite a while before Botar’s, rather than just a few weeks; Delara was killed before the 2006 arc, which takes place before the Toa Mahri fight Takadox, which takes place before Federation of Fear, which takes place around the same time as Botar’s death.

Also, in the interest of perhaps helping understand where Greg was going with the story, I found this:

https://greg.thegreatarchives.com/2010-2011/page3#post114-line7-8

EDIT: I added this after, just for the purpose of keeping a bunch of timeline stuff together:

https://greg.thegreatarchives.com/2008-2010/page158#post6308-line83,100
https://greg.thegreatarchives.com/2003-2008/page177#post7078-line13,17

1 Like

So, funny story:

I had a longer time period on the original version.
Then, as I was posting it, I read it and thought “that can’t be right”. A quick search of the timeline on bs01 led me to the two month conclusion; but I failed to take into account the month of the Piraka defecting, and the months of the reign.

So past me knew what he was doing, and then present me messed it up.

Good catch, though. I’ve fixed it.

2 Likes

Was the mask added by Kestora then?

Everything is possible in Bionicle. And even more than that.

Creepy vibe is not one of my favorites, but it really fits here. My favorite chapter so far.

1 Like

Yep. Similar to how Lhikan got a new mask.


Chapter 5

Six hours before the arrival of Kopaka and Pohatu…

Ihu couldn’t go down, not now.

He didn’t know why it was important. Something had happened to him, and now his thoughts were all messed up. It felt like he was under the effects of a Keerahk stun staff, losing all sense of time and place, but permanent. He could never be sure if the things he remembered had happened yesterday, or decades ago… or if they hadn’t happened yet at all. Yes, he felt pretty sure he’d seen the future, even if he couldn’t figure out how. Something to do with a red orb? Or was he thinking of that fire Toa who’d saved him recently? Was it recently?

Never mind. It didn’t matter. Only one memory mattered, knowledge that he had to pass on to a pair of Toa he had yet to meet. He kept it at the forefront of his mind at all times, so he didn’t forget it. He didn’t know why it was so important, only that it was, and until he relayed the message, he absolutely could not die.

Something was following him, one of the broken people in this place. If they caught him… Ihu wasn’t really sure what they would do, but he had to stop them. He couldn’t keep away from them forever, especially with his legs as messed up as they were. One of those ghosts had offered to fix them a few years ago, and now Ihu wished he’d accepted the offer. Why hadn’t he? He hadn’t trusted the crafter; something about having helped make the Vahki? No, the Vahki weren’t until after the crafter; or were they before?

Ihu’s eyes caught sight of a door up ahead. Near it, a body lay on the ground. Ihu decided to set aside the past for now; it was too difficult to remember anyway. Focus on the now, and the memory that was soon to happen. Ihu made his way to the body, painfully slowly. It was a Ga-Matoran, or at least it used to be. And she had some sort of weapon. Ihu picked it up, and thrust it forward experimentally; it loosed a small burst of electricity at the motion.

This would work. Holding the electro-blade, Ihu got shakily to his feet, and waited for his pursuer to arrive.


Now…

The instant Quilha had the door open, Kopaka pushed her out of the way and rushed into the hallway on the other side. Pohatu wasn’t far behind, and in a moment, he saw what Kopaka had seen.

Just on the other side of the door, there were multiple beings lying on the floor: a dead Ga-Matoran, a large creature, and a wounded Ko-Matoran. Kopaka was already at the Ko-Matoran’s side, holding him in his arms.

Ihu’s legs were badly misshapen, and part of his head was mashed in. Worse, he had a large gash, from shoulder to hip. His heartlight was flickering, slower and slower.

“Toa… Nuva…?” he muttered weakly.

“Yes, it’s us,” Kopaka said. For a moment, he wondered how Ihu knew that name, then brushed the thought aside; it didn’t matter right now. “Don’t worry, we’ll get you out of here.”

“There’s… no time,” Ihu murmured. “If you’re here… then the end is near…”

“You’re not going to die again,” Kopaka said. “Come on, let’s go.” He tried to help Ihu to his feet.

“No!” Ihu said, grabbing Kopaka’s mask with both hands. “Listen… to me. You can stop this, fix all… you can end the Star. But you need… you have to find Hydraxon. He can show you the way.”

Hydraxon? The name sparked a vague memory in Kopaka’s mind. He’d heard that name before, somewhere. “What are you talking about?” he asked.

“There’s… more,” Ihu force out. “Be wary… of the one… they call Makuta…”

“Makuta?!” Kopaka exclaimed. “What Makuta? The Makuta?”

But there was no answer coming. Ihu’s fingers slipped off of Kopaka’s mask, his hands fell limply to his sides. His heartlight went dark.

Once again, Ihu was dead.


Slowly, the horde marched through the hallway of the star, toward the source of the disturbance.

Once, they had had another purpose, a more noble one. Then, they had died, and they had come here, where they had dared to rise up against the Kestora.
But the Kestora had found a way to maintain order, as they always did. They had gotten these people under their control. Now, they only had one purpose: to maintain order for Makuta.

The Kestora hadn’t sent them out in a while, but now, the situation called for it. There were two here who intended to cause trouble. They needed to be contained, like all the rest. Only then would order be restored.

One of them caught a glimpse of movement from a side hall, and went to investigate. He took a look around, but didn’t see anything. Concluding there was nothing to find, he decided to go join the rest of the group.

As soon as he turned his back, something struck the back of his head, and he blacked out.


For several seconds after Ihu’s death, no one spoke. No one really knew what to say.

Pohatu was still shaken by the mention of Makuta. He thought they were done with that guy. But if this was a place where the dead came back… was Makuta here, too? It hadn’t occurred to him until now. Could he and Kopaka really handle the master of Shadows on their own?

“Hey, guys?” Quilha cut in. “Something’s coming.”

The Toa fell silent. Now they heard it, too: the sounds of something, or several somethings, marching through the halls. Kopaka activated his mask to see what was coming, then gasped in surprise at what he saw.

“What is it, brother?” Pohatu asked.

“They’re…” Kopaka said. “They’re Toa. And they’re being led by… a Kestora.”


Author’s notes: Ihu’s vision of the future is a reference to this story, that I wrote… at least five years ago (wow, didn’t realize it had been that long). I don’t know if I would consider the events portrayed in that story canon to this project, but it’s one of my favorite older stories, so I at least wanted to have a nod to it. The only thing I’m 100% keeping is that Ihu saw the future.
(You can read through the old story if you’re curious, though it probably doesn’t hold up to my writing abilities today)
4 Likes

Another banger of a chapter. I wonder if we’ll see some familiar faces in that Toa Army?

I’m also curious as to how Ihu saw the future. Is it the same thing as whatever was going on with Vakama? Or will we have to wait to find out?

EDIT: I just read your old story. Now I have more questions about that. What’s up with that Toa and the staff?